We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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