My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
