Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
