HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize