First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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