I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
