who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
