He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize