I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
