Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
