fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I'm sobbing to NWA
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
