Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
