is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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