just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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