well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
