I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
