Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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