What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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