I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
