I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
