I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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