Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Congratulations! We have a period
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
