Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
