so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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