omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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