she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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