no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
