they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
