I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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