I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
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