South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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