i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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