Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
