we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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