I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
