Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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