Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
