I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize