We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
