So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
