Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
