So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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