Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
