For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
