it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
