very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
