white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
