Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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