I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
