whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
