Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
is this the sara with the beer cane?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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