So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Help. Why am I so naked?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
